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Staying Single

December 12, 2011

My manager Garth is a bro, a 35 year-old bro.  He was an athlete in college where he earned his player stripes.  After he graduated, he went on to work in finance at various corrupt institutions.  Today he makes good money, and spends much of his free time partying in Vegas.  He is not happy.

At one of the many events where other companies wine and dine employees of my company, I started probing him about his undergrad days.

Garth:  I scored so much pu$$y in college, it was crazy.
Kane:  I kinda got that impression. Was football very popular at [redacted]?
Garth:  {his expression says not really}
Kane:  Popular enough.
Garth: {laughing} Yeah, it got the job done.
Kane:  Yeah, I was pretty notorious back at [redacted].  Still am, but I’m in a serious relationship now.
Garth: {seriously} Do you really like her?
Kane:  Yeah, she’s pretty nice.
Garth: Do you think she’s the one?
Kane:  Probably. You know I don’t really mind leaving the game, I’ve been with a lot of girls, but bitches be crazy you know.
Garth: You are never going to find a girl who isn’t crazy.  Let me tell you, if you think she’s really great but, forget that but. You will never find a perfect woman.  I had my fun in college, and I still do, but I can think of 3 girls who I could have married, girls I would have been really happy with, but… Forget that but.  I mean, yeah I have money now, but what the %^&* do I do with that?  Go to bars and meet sluts?  That gets boring.  It would be nice to fly home on the weekend and have something to look forward to, someone to tell “hey baby, I missed you, I love you.”  Playing the field is great, but if you find a girl who actually makes you happy, forget the but.

I know a real quality girl is hard to come by.  I don’t recommend lowering your standards to what the average girl offers, but a lot of men are so addicted to scoring new notches that they miss the chance to find greater happiness with one woman who actually deserves their love.  Garth missed out and he obviously regrets it.

13 Comments leave one →
  1. December 12, 2011 12:46 am

    I guess one of the good things about life is our ability to recreate ourselves…hopefully it’s not too late for any of us…nice post!

  2. December 12, 2011 1:57 am


  3. December 12, 2011 7:08 am

    I say at 35, he is still in good shape to find a cute 26-30 year old to settle down with
    With our life expectancy, 35 isn’t that old anymore.

    K: Definitely. The problem is that our profession keeps us traveling too much for that. We’re only home on the weekends when we have to take care of errands.

    • December 18, 2011 5:17 pm

      I’m 33 and have never been on business trip. I work from home, have no co-workers. Stuck in that independent contractor rut. I’d be excited to travel just about anywhere for work.

      Eh, grass is always greener I guess.

  4. December 13, 2011 6:00 pm

    that’s the one thing that’s f****d me up with being in the Navy, it’s railroaded a few really good relationships. but i can’t propose to a girl because i don’t want to break up.

    “I know a real quality girl is hard to come by. I don’t recommend lowering your standards to what the average girl offers, but a lot of men are so addicted to scoring new notches that they miss the chance to find greater happiness with one woman who actually deserves their love.”

  5. December 13, 2011 11:51 pm

    Sounds like Garth needs a break from the game more than he needs a permanent girl.

    I don’t believe that guys just want to “settle down” and leave the game. Men who do that are just deluding themselves. You’re in love now Kane, but it’s only a matter of time before you want to bang a new pussy. Likewise, your wife sees you as alpha, but this too will fade.

    Love is an illusion and nothing lasts. Pretending that Garth missed out only makes sense if the feeling of love wasn’t fleeting.

    I am willing to bet my soul, that had Garth gotten married, he’d be miserable down the road and wished he had stayed single. Desiring to be in love is a better feeling than actual reciprocation so Garth is merely obeying his emotional instincts with no reflection of what he might have been had he settled.

    I also don’t believe in a quality woman with a low notch count, but that’s another topic for another day. The way I see it, there are two types of girls – virgins and regular women.

  6. Simon Rierdon permalink
    December 20, 2011 7:57 pm

    Travel does not make the heart grow fonder, take my word for this. After two years on the road and my girl staying here, I can’t wait to get rid of her.

  7. December 22, 2011 5:43 pm

    That’s VERY sweet.

  8. pjay permalink
    January 1, 2012 7:11 am

    I have some friends who pay 40-60% of their after-tax income to their ex-wives, and they rarely see their kids, despite being far better parents than their exes.

    Your article completely avoids the train wreck that is family law in this country.

    Men should go on a marriage strike until family court bigots and their apologists get with the program.

    Maybe some men are staying single for good reasons. Wake up.

    • January 2, 2012 10:11 am

      /sarcasm on
      You’re right pjay, even though I’m neck deep in the manosphere, I had no idea about the extent of divorce rape and injustice in the family courts in this country…
      /sarcasm off

      Some men want to get married. If 50% of marriages end in divorce, that means 50% survive. All these alpha males in the manosphere and we have men worried that they’re not alpha enough to keep a woman in check after marriage?

      • January 2, 2012 5:17 pm

        ” All these alpha males in the manosphere and we have men worried that they’re not alpha enough to keep a woman in check after marriage?”

        lol – dude you’re delusional if you think game is the magic cure all for relationship problems. The ugly, ugly, ugly reality is that game only has a marginal impact on relationships, because if you have to game a woman all the time to keep her she’s not worth it.

        Also, if game was sufficient for relationships, men with game would be able to get into relationships with whoever they want. Relationships are a lot deeper than game, man.

        I like the guy from DangerandPlay; he’s real about it. He’s a man with game who avoids marriage (after a failed marriage) because he said that game did shit to stop the misery of being married. His wife was still always unhappy, and he was always tired of having to game the same woman just for the honor of “being married”.

        I think you’re too new to marriage to be an objective appraiser of it. Even Rollo says that a marriage can’t work based on game.

      • January 2, 2012 6:12 pm

        I’m not married.

        Game is by far the greatest determinant of whether a marriage will last or not. Some men desire marriage so much that they’re going to do it even if they read every anti-marriage screed in the manosphere. Some men in the manosphere will turn their backs on men who choose to get married, screw those manginas. If men are going to get married, I’d like to give them the best tools available.

        Despite me being relatively pro-marriage among writers in the manosphere, I still believe most men should not get married.


  1. Getting Married « Kane

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