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Paying For It

September 13, 2011

We’re trying something new here on the blog.  I’m drowning in work, so I’ve asked a couple of friends to write guest posts.  This first one is from Fritz.

Every once in a few months while reading articles in the manosphere I come across a new blog post telling people that sleeping with prostitutes is better than going out and picking up.

The main argument in those articles is always: it is cheaper! The second argument that comes up in those articles is that: most girls have very little to bring to the table besides their vaginas. And to be honest, these arguments are for most cases correct. When talking about picking up women for sex (casual, short-term flings), when you account for the total cost for your dates until sex happens, plus the cost of time you invested, the total cost of prostitutes does come out to be cheaper.  (There was a calculator out for it: “costofsex .com” that site seems to be spam now.) Also, when someone picks up women just for sex, they do not filter for many qualities other than looks. This means that the girl’s personality, interests, intelligence does not usually match the type that the guy prefers, or that the common interest do not get a chance to come out.

In addition, most articles tend to argue that STD’s are not an issue either, due to the use of condoms, or due to the prostitute’s interest to stay healthy, which is important for her “work”.  The end conclusion of those articles is that men should stop wasting their time and money on random flings and go for hookers instead.

This advice is wrong, and I will start off by arguing my main point right away.  It is a common concept that each additional sexual partner lowers a woman’s social/dating value, while additional sexual partners do little to affect a man’s value (sometimes it is even elevated). But not so fast! Each additional prostitute that a man engages in lowers his social value.  A man who never hired a hooker: clean and proper; a man who hired a prostitute once: curious and adventurous, but also a risk taker; a man who hired hookers on several occasions: kind of sketchy, at times desperate, a man who hires hookers all the time: really sleazy.  Or, think about this a different way.  What are your thoughts when some guy tells you: “I have slept with 100 women!” v.s. “I have slept with 100 hookers!” In once case, most people think: “He’s a player.”, or “He’s good with women.” In the other case people think: “He’s sketchy.”, or “He has women issues.”

The difference is that in the first case, it is a man’s conquest, his action, his skills. In the other case, it is his purchase. People like men of action, men capable of leadership, men with social skill.  A purchase could be used to display wealth, but the effects are much smaller and can often backfire. A Porsche is expensive but it can also be “a small penis car”, “midlife crisis car”, a means of compensation. In the same way, hookers are seen as a means of compensation for lack of social skills.

This perception of lack of social skills is also usually correct.  An extreme example could be someone in the engineering profession. Their professional training gives them very little social skills. Most companies tend to shelter their engineers as well and don’t really require them to deal with the social aspects of business.  But engineers earn quite a lot of money. This means that for the majority of engineers, any social skills must be acquired through their own initiative. And yet, male engineers are not loaners, they do have plenty of other male friend with which they interact. But only a small subset of women would share the interests of the typical engineer. One would think that the articles advocating prostitutes were written for exactly those men: high income, low compatibility with most women. Except, this would be terrible and dangerous advice for such men. This could ruin their chances learn social interaction with people outside their profession, and especially interaction with the women they would like to actually date. Instead, advice to learn game, and to go out and do pickup is the correct advice. It takes about half a year to a year of study and practice to get comfortable at game, but the principles are very well geared towards a man’s sense of logic. A year worth of practicing game is an investment in your social abilities in all situations. A year worth of hookers is fun, but otherwise completely worthless.

I am not saying that men should never pay for prostitutes. There are occasions where it could make sense: to try it once, have one hired as a gift, you are in Bangkok, etc. But it is a bad idea to get the majority of your sexual escapades from prostitutes like these articles suggest.  Plus, in my experience, guys doing pickup eventually randomly run into the girl they want to keep around, at least for a while. How often does that happen with prostitutes?

5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 13, 2011 2:54 pm

    When talking about picking up women for sex (casual, short-term flings), when you account for the total cost for your dates until sex happens, plus the cost of time you invested, the total cost of prostitutes does come out to be cheaper.

    This is the only thing I have a comment on. I’d say it depends on how good your game is. If I were a single man, it would cost me less to pick up and bang a cute girl through my own efforts than it would to hire one as an escort.

  2. September 24, 2011 4:04 pm

    Hey i take offence to your engineer example!
    I would argue, and my friends would argue as well that this stereotype is totally bogus.

    I would say there are some disciplines of engineering practiced that are more stereotypical ie: software, physics, chemical
    But it’s far from the case in my domain (mining), as well as in civil and mechanical

    Businesses in these domains are ran by engineers, all but the financial department, this means managers, COO, CEO and so on

    Most of us were comprised of jocks, athletes and charismatic bullshitters that have a knack for sciences and a love for a no bullshit profession

    And since its a very male dominant field (you dont want to date female engineers… they tend to be quite manly) you dont have a choice but to head out party and try to pick up

    anyways i’ve written way too much on the topic already.

  3. Brian permalink
    November 26, 2011 2:20 am

    There are instances when I have considered this, but then the thoughts of an escort (that could cost around $400 for one quick bang) who may have already been with three other guys before you that day might increase the chance of getting diseases (or even just Lice) and then for many they require going through a national verification process (over $100 to sign up) through which you have to state much personal identification information (work number and have it called) and then (for a huge hidden cost) if you get in a LE setup and get arrested it could ruin your career so (in the US at least) it’s better not to. Even Adult dating sites (it’s too bad because some the sites themselves are designed good) have terrible odds of finding a real girl on those (say pay 2 sites $100 each only to meet none) because of the scams and fakes. Therefore, for online OKC and POF are free to check out, and for game it would be cheaper and better odds (and chances are she has not been with other guys that same day) if you take this $700 and go out a few nights a week (such as to a bar) until getting at least 2 bangs and these girls may also repeat for no charge.

  4. December 6, 2011 9:24 am

    While I personally wouldn’t pay a hooker for sex, I don’t share the author’s stance that paying for them automatically lowers a guy’s “social value.” Given how promiscuous many women these days are, saying that you’ve been with, say, 40 women can easily send the same message like saying that you’ve paid 40 women for sex.

    Besides, the cost-benefit analysis is not so bad. You could either spend some hours roaming nightclubs, or you just hire a call-girl, and spend the rest of the time you save on whatever else you like doing. If it’s just about sex, I see no rational reason for condemning a guy for sleeping with prostitutes.

  5. Scrooge permalink
    January 31, 2012 12:14 pm

    First of all I have paid for nights that no matter how good your game is your not gonna get with a sloppy drunk hood rat at the bar. Second a high class hooker will only be with you for the night if you know where to look and how to negotiate. Lastly it ain’t trickin if you got it “Player”!

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