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How To Get A Boyfriend

August 23, 2011

There are several ways for a girl to get a boyfriend.  I’ll outline a few in this post and give their pros and cons.

1.  Follow The Rules or He’s Just Not That Into You
Pros:  You will find a man who likes you a lot.  The man who passes all these tests will be devoted to you and probably won’t have any options better than you trying to steal him away.  You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment when you get a man to commit to you by following one of these methods.  He will almost certainly propose to you.

Cons:  The man you get by following one of these methods isn’t even close to the best man you could possibly get.  There are plenty of men who will commit to you, but won’t put up with jumping through as many hoops as these books require.  Furthermore, if you don’t follow these methods exactly as detailed in the books, you will get burned.  Trust me, I’ve burned girls who haphahazardly followed The Rules.  If you play games, players play them harder, and you’ll lose if you give in to your emotions rather than sticking to The Rules.

2.  Have casual sex until you find a man who sticks
Pros:  Sex is fun!  You get to experience a lot of sex with good looking men.  You will feel extremely desirable when you bring a man home and he tells you how sexy you are, and the next day you bring his fraternity brother home and he says the same thing.

Cons:  Most women aren’t suited for casual sex.  You will probably feel empty after each sexual encounter.  You may even become depressed.  Moreover, lots of casual sex reduces your commitment value so the guy who commits to you will either be low quality, cheating on you, or ignorant of your sexual history.

3.  Date Someone From Your Social Circle
Pros:  He’s likely to have common interests.  He’s less likely to treat you bad because you have common friends who he doesn’t want to alienate.  You may already know him.  It’s relatively easy to have your friends set you up on dates.

Cons:  You’ll have limited options.  If your friends actually set up a date for you, this tends to kill the spark that happens when people meet each other naturally.

4.  Online Dating
Pros:  You will feel very desired because of all the men who message you.  You will have a broad array of choices to date.  It doesn’t require a big time commitment.

Cons:  The men who rely on online dating to find girlfriends usually aren’t the most desirable.  The most popular men on online dating sites are just using them to get lots of sex, rather than finding a girlfriend.

5.  Go to places where single men hang out
Pros:  You have a wide array of choices.  You can go out with friends and socialize while also keeping your eyes open to potential suitors.  You can choose the event to draw the type of men you’re interested in e.g. art walks, pub crawls, bike parades.  It’s easy to start a conversation with a man because you already have something in common.

Cons:  This method requires the most time commitment.  The men who are most successful at these events are also the ones who are least likely to commit to you.


As you can see, you have a lot of options and each one has its drawbacks.  Katy Redbush found me using option 5.  In the past, I dated plenty of girls who were using option 2.  Girls who were dedicated to option 1 always got deleted from my phone.  Girls who tried to use option 1 but weren’t consistent ended up having their hearts broken by me.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. August 23, 2011 12:56 am

    This is great stuff. Running through the cons is the tradeoffs between getting the best man you can, spending a lot of time, being lonely while you wait for the right guy, sullying yourself by trying out too many candidates, and running your own show versus reacting to the man’s frame (which scales with relative SMV).

    I’ve gone back and forth on who I think has the better deal in the SMP, and after much thought I won’t take a side but I’ll just say I’m glad I’m a man because I can approach under the protection of social expectation – 90% of women, if I walk up to them and look them in the eye, will listen to my opener for five seconds. I do feel some sympathy for young women, since most of them won’t approach and so they’re stuck batting their eyelashes and hoping the handsome guy will talk to them. They can throw hints all day and most guys won’t get it.

    One of the mind-*%$s of online dating is it takes away the captive power of the live approach; the message to the woman goes into the ether, and unless she answers (which is 20% of the time at most) I get zero feedback on how the approach was received.

  2. johnnymilfquest permalink
    August 23, 2011 12:29 pm

    I’m pulling up a chair, grabbing some popcorn and waiting for the female reaction to this post.

  3. August 23, 2011 4:35 pm

    @ johnnymilfquest,

    Are you expecting a negative reaction from females? As a female, I see nothing to take offense to in this post, unlike some male posts on how to get a boyfriend which only focus on how to improve one’s physical appearance to attract guys. In fact, it’s nice to see a post that outlines the pros and cons of each suggestion, rather than just portraying each option as an absolute right or wrong approach.

    • johnnymilfquest permalink
      August 24, 2011 2:50 pm

      I was expecting zero female response.

      • August 24, 2011 8:58 pm

        Well then, allow me to be a pioneer for my gender. Such an honor.

  4. August 23, 2011 4:53 pm

    The female reaction would be far better if the post was on

    Manosphere advice to women is often preaching to the choir. It’s this kind of stuff that should be consumed well outside the Manosphere.

  5. August 24, 2011 1:12 pm

    Fucking brilliant.

  6. August 28, 2011 8:08 am

    Great post, Kane. I only found it via Ferd, though. You need an RSS button! Also, thanks for putting me on your blogroll, I’m happy to return the favor.

    K: Thanks. Your blog is one of my favorites.

  7. dayna permalink
    February 23, 2012 5:34 pm

    Need a bf!!

  8. Rash permalink
    May 7, 2012 9:51 pm

    “I do feel some sympathy for young women, since most of them won’t approach and so they’re stuck batting their eyelashes and hoping the handsome guy will talk to them.”

    Why feel sorry for them? If they want a guy they should approach him!

    “They can throw hints all day and most guys won’t get it.”

    Or they might think she’s just a cock-tease.


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