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Why Girls Aren’t as Pretty as They Think

August 9, 2011

What she thinks she looks like

One consequence of the current SMP is that women drastically overestimate their own beauty.  This is something that may be innate, but the current SMP lets it run wild.  Other writers in the manosphere have suggested that females universally overrate themselves because it enables their hypergamy.  The female 5 chases male 7s because she truly believes she’s a 7.  Most male 7s will readily have sex with female 5s, so this reinforces the 5s inflated perception of herself.

What she really looks like

It’s important for both men and women to understand how and why this happens.  Both men and women will experience more fulfilling relationships if they can accept this reality and work to correct it.

In the United States, I can identify 3 different levels of overpricing among American women.  The first level is common among country girls.  This is the natural level of female overpricing.  Girls from Latin America or Southeast Asia will often have a similar level of overpricing.  In order to illustrate the dynamic, I’ve modified a graphic I took from Hooking Up Smart.

Country + Foreign Girls

As you can see, girls at this level of self-delusion aren’t too bad; they typically overprice themselves by only one point.  It’s easy for these girls to discover what their true level is and they are usually the happiest of all girls.  Once they figure out their true beauty, they can usually find a man at this level and settle down.

The next level is common among American women from the suburbs of larger cities and from smaller cities.  This level is enabled by two things, solipsism and horny men.  Girls believe that men are attracted to the same qualities girls are attracted to, so they believe their education, career and social circle make them more attractive to men.  Those things mean practically nothing to men.  Ferdinand already covered this in the eternal solipsism of the female mind.  Horny men come into the picture because men are usually more than happy to have sex with women who rate below them.  Girls don’t have sex with men below them at nearly the same rate as men, so they assume a 7 man sleeping with them means they’re at least a 7.

Suburbia

These girls usually overrate themselves by 2 points.  This is why PUAs teach men about negs.  It is almost impossible for a man to pick up a girl at his level without showing her that she’s overrated herself.  Towards the bottom of this scale, we see the origins of the bitter beta male.  A female 4 believes she’s a 6 and won’t deign to date a male 4.  A male 4 would have to go down to a female 2 if he wants sexual release.  Porn is more pleasurable than a female 2, so the male 4 ends up spending hours in front of youporn while the girls he should be dating are getting pumped and dumped by the types of guys who used to bully him in high school.

The final level is common in big cities like NYC and DC.  It’s really just a more severe version of the 2nd level.  These girls get approached even more because they’re in dense population centers, and they’re even more likely to have advanced education and a prestigious job.  Unfortunately, “I’m one year away from being a partner at Cravath”, does absolutely nothing for a man.  In fact, the type of personality needed to be very successful in law or business is often a turn off for men.  These girls seldom end up happy.

Superinflated Egos

Because the typical girl at this level overrates herself by 3 points, men in these areas need tight game to pick up girls who are more attractive than their hands.  The lower ranked males in these areas have almost no chance.  They retreat into world of warcraft and reddit meet ups.  They hate on men who have developed the game to actually get laid in these cities.  It’s a sad environment, so sad that some men decide they’d rather move to Poland than fight for these mediocre girls.

What’s the point of all this?  Ladies, identify the chart that corresponds to the type of area you live or grew up in.  Chances are, you overrate yourself by the same amount.  I know you’re tempted to think “I’m a special little snowflake” and believe that you have an accurate view of your own beauty.  You don’t.  For 10 women who believe that, 1 is right and 9 are overpricing themselves. This is important because if you spend too much time getting pumped and dumped by men who are out of your league, your long-term value to other men declines.
Men, you have your work cut out for you.  If you live in a big city, you will have to develop super tight game.  I don’t recommend you find a wife from an area like that.  If you want a wife, your best bet is in the suburbs or on the farm.

13 Comments leave one →
  1. August 9, 2011 12:28 am

    Thanks for the link, this is very good stuff. I like how the Manosphere is penning these brilliant original-research analyses of the trends in the SMP and popular culture.

  2. detinennui32 permalink
    August 9, 2011 6:09 am

    This rings true. The larger the metro area, the more overinflated the girls’ egos and self-images of their SMVs are.

  3. AnonymousDog permalink
    August 9, 2011 11:25 am

    I think you mis-understand the SMP in small towns and rural areas. Most rural areas are net exporters of single women. Young people of both genders move away for education and careers, with a higher percentage of the women leaving and never coming back. (At least until retirement age) Most of the young women who remain are paired off by the time they are 25. What you describe might well be true for rural women up to their early/mid twenties, but the ones who remain single after that age are either very hypergamous, or just not in the SMP at all(as a practical matter).

  4. Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta permalink
    August 11, 2011 6:00 pm

    Hi Kane,

    Like the blog so far. Mostly your remarks have some spirit of truth.

    However this one on ladies overestimating their own appeal overshoots reality.

    Sure a lot of women don’t have a good grasp of how the world objective perceives them.

    But I know a lotta fellas who also overestimate their appeal too…

    I think it’s a pretty universal human trait to misjudge the self.

    People suffer from either too much self esteem…
    … or too little.

    Your bit about the small towns / countryside is close, but misses the mark.

    Being in a deep and diverse market (SMP) of a big city gives ladies more information and feedback about their offer. Being stuck in a small town, a lady may not have gotten much feedback an be ready to “sell” herself for below value.

    I too dream of “rescuing” a fair Cinderella from the provinces…

    …but whom am I fooling?

    As for foreign countries you’re comparing how the ladies measure up fellas from abroad, Yanks, Brits, Krauts, Frogs and other dudes from favourably attractive western type places as opposed to their Slavic / Latin / Asian homeboys.

    How foreign and domestic guys are seen is never fair and never equal. Sometimes the fellow gets a bonus for being foreign, exotic and sophisticated. Sometimes not.

  5. Taylor permalink
    July 7, 2012 10:40 pm

    Oh god I must be hideous. I went from meh to unfortunate. I never thought I was that attractive to begin with but now learning that we over rate ourselves I realize I must actually be a closer resemblance to an ogre.

  6. anonymous permalink
    July 9, 2012 11:01 am

    It may be true that some girls overestimate their beauty. But it’s also true that many girls underestimate it! Where do you think eating disorders or the desire to get plastic surgery stems from? Those things happen because some girls think they’re too ugly or fat. Labeling everyone with a number based on their appearance can either lower or heighten a person’s self esteem. It seems that these days everyone either has no self confidence or way too much. Self confidence is like money nowadays.

    • July 16, 2012 7:37 pm

      In the US, it’s more appropriate to say that some women underestimate their looks, but the vast majority overestimate their looks. Many women who suffer from the most common eating disorder (obesity) behave as if they resemble Helen of Troy. In contrast, very few attractive women behave as if they look like beasts. Women may sometimes have low self-esteem because they don’t look like models, but that doesn’t mean they believe themselves to be ugly.

      Plastic surgery and weight-related surgeries reflect the fact that willpower is scarce in our society. People would rather pay for surgery than commit to proper diet and exercise.

  7. Indigo permalink
    October 16, 2012 4:12 pm

    Wow, this is the biggest load of BS I’ve ever read in my entire life. And I’ve seen a lot of BS. I suppose there are no reasons at all why the fashion, make-up, dieting and plastic surgery industries are all booming.

  8. anon permalink
    October 26, 2012 4:19 pm

    this seems largely male based. id say more women then not would largely underrate themselves. I lived in a town of 200 people, i never got so many compliments on how pretty I was until I lived there. I think you have it all wrong, I think most men go after women who are too good for them unless the man himself is not so great looking, then he usually goes after what ever he can get. I also think women in larger areas feel the need to compete with other women and if you don’t look like the ideal cover girl you usually feel inadequate. Also what is wrong with confidence, so what if someone perceives themselves more beautiful then you think they are? Let them like themselves.

Trackbacks

  1. Linkage is Good for You: You Fill in the Blank Edition
  2. Never as Pretty as We Think « Blogging Bellita
  3. The Paradox of Pretty « Blogging Bellita
  4. The Girl To Avoid « Kane

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