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The First Secret To Meeting Women

August 1, 2011

Talk to them!

I hate it when I go out to the bar and see groups of guys who probably went out to meet chicks, and groups of girls who probably went out to meet guys, but the groups never talk. It’s painful to watch. This last Friday, I went to a local college bar with Lady Redbush. Right in front of us we saw a group of three guys drinking and talking. A few minutes later, a group of three girls walk into the bar and place themselves right next to this group of guys. The girls are talking to each other, the guys are talking to each other, but the groups never mixed. This wasn’t an isolated incident; I saw scenes like this play out the whole night. These men claim they want to meet girls, but they don’t back it up with actions. If you want to meet girls, talk to them!

The girls placed themselves in proximity to the men because they wanted to be talked to. The men went out because they wanted to meet girls. Men need to understand that girls probably won’t make the first move. If a girl wants you to talk to her, she will give you the opportunity to do so. If you’re in a retail store, she’ll go look at some item near you. If you’re in a cafe, she’ll sit near you. If you’re in a bar with dozens of spots for her to stand in, she’ll stand in a spot near you. You, as the man, need to make the next move.

Sometimes these men will come up with excuses. Those girls weren’t cute enough. Bullshit. They looked like bitches. Maybe. My nipples hurt. Obviously. But the worst excuse is, “this place is a sausage fest”. I understand a bad ratio, and how it affects the success of your approaches. The fact is, even in a sausage fest, many girls are not talking to any guys, because the guys are all making excuses. Even when you go into a bar with 80 guys and 20 girls, half of those girls are not talking to any guys. So if you went it with the intention of meeting girls, don’t let a bad ratio, i.e. your lack of courage, keep you from making an effort.  Forget about every bad rejection you ever endured.  Approach the girl!

Sausage Fest

Try some of these throwaway lines

In a retail store
You: You know these are some very high quality [whatever it is you’re looking at].
Her: Really?
You: No, but they give me free samples if I say that.

In a cafe
You: Can you watch my stuff for a sec?
Her: Sure

go use the bathroom.
once you get back

You: Whew. My stuff is still here. I was worried; you look kind of thuggish.
Her: hehehe.

This will work best if she looks nerdy/innocent.

In a bar

easy line
You: Hey, you guys look interesting, what’s up?
Girls: Hey.

harder line
You: Are you shy?
Her: Yes/no/maybe, why?
You: I’ve been over there for 5 minutes and you still haven’t come over to say hello.

You need a strong frame to do this, but as long as your frame is good, you will always get a good response. Even if the chick isn’t very attracted to you, she will give you respect for using such a line. Back when I was picking up, the most common response I got was “ooohhhh” in a tone that indicated a mix between shock and arousal.

The next time you go out to pick up chicks, don’t make excuses.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. johnnymilfquest permalink
    July 31, 2011 8:37 pm

    Kane, why would any sane single man who is looking to pick up want to hang out in a dick farm?

    Its not accurate to say that these women aren’t getting approached in such an environment.

    They are.

    Source: My own eyes in a dick farm.

    My advice is simple in a 65-95% male enviroment. EJECT.

    Don’t mug yourself by wasting your time somewhere like that. Go to a different bar, club or whatever. Half the world is female!

    Also, I don’t see how you can say this:

    “Sometimes these men will come up with excuses. Those girls weren’t cute enough. Bullshit.”

    I know when I find a woman attractive and when I don’t. I don’t care if my friend agrees with my assessment of her attractiveness or not.

    K: Ejecting isn’t always an option if every bar in the area has the same ratio.
    As for girls not being cute enough, I’ve known guys who’d fuck a girl who looks like Yoda who would use this excuse.

    • johnnymilfquest permalink
      August 4, 2011 9:35 am

      If every bar in the locality has such a bad ratio (Washington DC?), then the local bar scene might NOT be a good place to meet women.

      As for men fucking Yoda lookalikes, there is no accounting for taste.

      For example, I don’t mind Flip Flops on a woman. I’m definitely in the minority there!

  2. August 1, 2011 9:30 pm

    This is so F’ing money. I’ve found the times my love life is in a doldrums, I haven’t been out in public where the women are, and haven’t been approaching them.

    And 80% of the time I hear women complaining they can’t meet the right guy, they aren’t meeting any guys. You can be a catch on paper AND have tight game, but if you don’t play the odds by meeting enough members of the opposite sex, your talents won’t get you nothing.

    • johnnymilfquest permalink
      August 4, 2011 9:39 am

      “And 80% of the time I hear women complaining they can’t meet the right guy, they aren’t meeting any guys.”

      Women who claim that they aren’t meeting any men fall squarely into three groups:

      1. Women who make zero effort to meet men.
      2. Women who aren’t being approached by the men they are attracted to. They forget about all the unattractive men approaching them.
      3. Unattractive women.

  3. AnonymousDog permalink
    August 2, 2011 5:58 pm

    People have been brainwashed to believe that “if it’s meant to be, it will just happen”, like it does in the movies. On top of that, for the last 40 years people have been talking about how men and women are all liberated and equal, etc., etc., etc..

    Nobody ever told me that I would have to make the first move if I wanted to meet women, and I labored for years under the delusion that if I just “followed my interests”, and was generally a friendly guy, I would just accidentally meet the woman of my dreams. I have no doubt that a lot of others labor under the same delusion.

    • johnnymilfquest permalink
      August 4, 2011 9:42 am

      “I labored for years under the delusion that if I just “followed my interests”, and was generally a friendly guy, I would just accidentally meet the woman of my dreams.”

      Ha ha! Everyone used to tell me that as well. Although in my case, I never believed them.

      • Silent_Scope permalink
        August 24, 2011 4:12 pm

        I believed them. Now I’m mad at myself for believing when I now know it’s all crap. Oh well. Live and learn. Here I am late 30s just now figuring that part out.

        Now if I can figure out the rest I’ll be golden.

  4. August 17, 2011 10:15 am

    It really is that easy…

  5. August 21, 2011 11:15 pm

    Kane, any advice for very quick-turn closes, i.e. four/five sentences or less? I find myself in approaches with interesting women in line at the bagel shop, grocery store, etc, places where the chance of a sit-down or venue change is very small, and once I’ve opened and gotten her laughing/interested it’s time to split. I’m looking for a way to whet her appetite for later and get the digits in one swoop.

    K: This is something I rarely did because it has such a low conversion rate. If I had to do it, I would use the same technique I used to use with girls who work retail. Ask her if she’s free later, and if she says yes, then tell her you can meet for drinks/coffee and hand her your phone to put her number in. This works pretty well with retail girls.


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